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Bad Company

Aftershocks 20.1: Consult

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Aftershocks 20.1: Consult

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TITLE: Aftershocks: A Story in Shattered Pieces
SUMMARY: Wilson takes a call.
CHARACTERS: Chase, Cameron, Foreman, Wilson, House.
RATING:
R for language and themes.
WARNINGS: Details the aftermath of events in Bad Company, a rough, violent story. Aftermath isn't always pretty; may distress some readers. Adult themes and adult language.
SPOILERS: No.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own 'em. Never will.
NOTES: The pieces of this shattered story are numbered. The first number signifies the number of days that have elapsed since the original event in Bad Company; the second number signifies when the fic occurs during that day.


Consult



"I hate you all. Go away," says House's voice on the answering machine. The office phone is on speaker setting, so they all hear it. Wilson isn't picking up, but then he rarely does. They have a different system now.

"Wilson. Wake up, get off your ass. Check your email," House commands, and then smacks the receiver back down in its cradle.

Chase is watching this with quiet interest, but Cameron's not. She's got her hands on her hips, and that pointy expression on her face. He wonders whether she knows how unflattering it is.

"You're really going to drag him into this case, insist that he has to work for you?" She's insistently indignant, not her most endearing state by any means. "After everything he's been through, you think he doesn't deserve the time off to—"

"Chase! Instant survey!" House calls out. "Sick and injured, or totally useless? Which would you prefer to be?"

"Sick. Absolutely. Wait—am I going to regret having answered that?" It's hard to tell, with House. He snares people so very easily.

"No. You're useless now, so it's not a choice you actually get to make. I'm just teaching Little Miss Compassionate why she's wrong."

"Good luck with that," Chase responds, and ignores Cameron's righteous glare as he goes back to studying the research paper he's just found. They know what their patient’s got, this time; the question is how to kill the infection without killing the guy in the process.

"Good luck with what?" asks Foreman, who's entering the room with great caution, as if it might be contaminated with some deadly pestilence.

"Convincing Cameron that there's no such thing as Santa," snipes House. "Your turn. Would you rather be physically sick, or useless and expendable at work?"

Foreman pauses, looking for the trap. "Why? Are you planning to experiment on me?"

"Why not? Worked great at Tuskeegee. Answer the question."

"Hypothetically," says Foreman, "I'd definitely rather be sick than useless. But I'm not volunteering for any of your weird science projects."

"Too late! You just helped me prove my hypothesis: Cameron's an idiot."

"For considering Wilson’s feelings? For thinking that you could have some sensitivity to—?"

"Should have that email," House interrupts, looking at his watch, "right...abouuut..."

He waits five more seconds and then smiles at the sound of his computer's new mail alert. Chase, curious, approaches just as House turns back to Cameron. "You're hopeless," he says to her, as he opens the new message. "You will never understand men. Might as well go lesbian; spare us all. Better yet, sell video."

He turns the computer monitor so that she can see Wilson's reply, which is written in that now-familiar one-handed fashion:

pythiosis?

at least it isn't cancer. ha.

need info. send minion w/research, more chapstick.


"Now there is a guy who's happy to have a job," House says, and Cameron looks at him as if he's out of his mind.

"He's obliging you," she insists, "because he's just that nice."

"He's not that nice," Chase replies, "and he's thrilled. It's the first chance he's had in weeks to use his brain for something productive."

"Your nose is...getting awfully tan," House says, but Chase is used to that kind of minor abuse and shrugs it off. He's just about ready to walk away when the computer chimes again. "See?" says House, clicking to open the email, "He's on it like—"

send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.

Cameron's mouth gapes open; she wheels and stomps furiously away from the desk, bracing herself against the chuckles of the men. "Told you," says Chase, grinning as he packs his books and research papers and prepares to go see Wilson, "he's really not that nice."
 
 
  • (Anonymous)
    So damn great. All of you.
  • (Anonymous)
    aww, just this one chapter for the rest of the week? oh well. ;)
  • Proving Cameron wrong is always fun. :)

  • send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.
    Hahahahaha! Wilson FTW!

    This one was fun, full of delightful dialogue. :)
  • HEEE! I haven't been commenting, but I've been gobbling these up. Just had to say that I loved Wilson's second e-mail. THANK YOU! So perfect!
  • (Anonymous)
    Yes, he's really not that nice!
    Lovely chapter as always, but I'm an idiot and need to ask one question. How is Wilson's email "written in that now-familiar one-handed fashion"? Wouldn't it be typed, not handwritten? If so, how would it make a difference to the reader if he typed it using only one hand? Did you mean that he's not capitalizing words because he's only using one finger to type? Typing a question mark requires two fingers.
    • No shift key.

      We are friends with one excellent author who has the use of only one hand. For her stories she uses capital letters but in personal correspondence she does not; the shift key is not impossible for her to use, but it is a hassle. She will however make the effort for necessary punctuation such as question marks.

      For this chapter, we modeled Wilson's email on that person's one-handed style.
      • (Anonymous)
        --delurk--

        Wow, I hope not all of Wilson's experiences are modelled from a friend's reality! --
        I do love these stories so much; I have started to check your homepage first thing in the morning, before my email. And now I am so looking forward to next week.

        Jo
        (sorry for the anon, don't have an LJ account)

        --back to lurker status-
  • Greetings!

    Yes, yes, YES!!!!! *happydancesinchair* House knows! Of course he would, but he's choosing to remember for his friend's sake, which is the more amazing thing.

    ""You're hopeless," he says to her, as he opens the new message. "You will never understand men. Might as well go lesbian; spare us all. Better yet, sell video.""

    "need info. send minion w/research, more chapstick.
    send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.
    "

    ""Told you," says Chase, grinning as he packs his books and research papers and prepares to go see Wilson, "he's really not that nice.""


    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
    Havens, I needed this! Thank'ee's for obliging me, tho' you knew it not.... :-D

    -Katrina
  • LMAO!!
  • whahahahahaha!
    oh man, after the seriousness of the last chapy, a little (or lots of) cameron bashing is just what the *cough* doctor *cough* ordered!
  • lolz @ cam. Can't wait for next week!
  • LOL, at least three times. "send minion w/research, more chapstick" = gold. I don't delight in Cameron-bashing and I'm not sure that Cameron thinks Wilson's all that nice, but the jokes were still funny. And House's insta!survey, and the quip about selling video, and Chase -- just, pretty much all of Chase -- and yeah, I'll bet Wilson's glad to have something meaningful to do.
  • LOL! You're good, really good! All of you...

    You made me feel sorry for Cameron. She's so clueless, not only about men but apparently about most human beings.

    It's so good that Wilson has found something to occupy himself besides trying to write with his right hand... I'm happy for him!
  • So does Wilson have an old-model computer, because I see on my laptop that the shift key is located twice, once near the Z and once near the ?, and if he were writing right-handed, it wouldn't be too difficult to reach next to the ? - that's the one I was taught to use in my typing class most of the time for right-handed keys, for some reason I can't remember. Or is it going to be difficult to press down both keys for him because of the motor skill needed?
  • send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.

    Ahaha.
  • Wilson is really not that nice, because I'm pretty sure he knew House would have happily showed Cam the email.

    Everyone is great in this one, Cam appeared a bit more clueless than usual, but got to allow artistic license for a bit of fun.

    Happy chapter, thank you!
  • It was fun to see House back to delightfully abusing his minions (loved Foreman's wariness, Chase's sucking-up, and Cam put in her place!), but it was a sudden reminder too of the different masks House can wear -- they don't know the truth about what happened.

    And thank you for mixing heart-warming chapters in there with all the angst! <3
  • lol!
    I loved how you wrote Chase as the one who gets that Wilson isn't that nice (just like House isn't that bad), and making fun of Cameron is always...well, fun!
    :)
  • *rofl*

    "You're hopeless," he says to her, as he opens the new message. "You will never understand men. Might as well go lesbian; spare us all. Better yet, sell video."

    and

    send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.

    cracked me up. Oooh thanks for writing!
  • Had to comment. I love the little "send chase, 4man. not cam. have mercy.", and the fact that he used the word 'minion'. When he doesn't think he's going to hurt people, Wilson's sense of humor is tailored to House's, and this was brilliantly IC, and a much lighter chapter than the others.
    >_> I'm catching up, slowly but surely.
    Please tell me your team will write more when BC is done? I look forward to seeing more.
    I couldn't tell you who this is, but I will hazard a vague guess at maybe horsey?
    • We love Wilson, and we love him because he isn't perfectly nice, and his sense of humor does mesh with House's so well.

      We're going to do a Big Reveal at the end, in which you will learn who wrote what. We love it when you guess, though. Hee!

      Will we write more as a team? Well ... we ... can't talk about that other project yet.

      :-)

  • I don't mind when House abuses Cameron - and I love the parts above in which he mocks Chase and Foreman - but I am a little bummed to see her portrayed consistently in such an unflattering light. For all her flaws, she does care a lot about House (and by extension, about Wilson). She notices things about him, and that could have been used as a sort of monitoring of the home situation by an outside observer based on House's appearance and habits. Bit of a wasted opportunity, imo. Otherwise, however, I really enjoyed this chapter, particularly Wilson's emails.
    • Thank you so much for commenting!

      Perspi, here, and I will agree that we came down rather hard on Cameron, in this chapter and from the guys' points-of-view, but I hope you will read the next one soon?

      (I've been enjoying your comments, so much, you have no idea. They've been enormously uplifting this month, and I've needed it. So thanks!)
    • What Perspi said. We felt pretty bad for Cameron here, and it does get better -- enough so that we even got some disgruntled remarks from one or two readers who didn't like her and thought she deserved the abuse.

      Wilson, at least, wasn't trying to be mean; he didn't know she'd see that email.
  • 4man!!!! lmao :D Made me think of Howse!!1, if you've seen that :P

    And love "send minion" hehe :D
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